BRITAIN'S MOST BORING CAR

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ESSEXV6ESSEX
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BRITAIN'S MOST BORING CAR

Post by ESSEXV6ESSEX » Tue Jul 14, 2020 6:41 pm

Thought I would start a thread as a bit of fun. Name Britain's most boring car. The rules are it can be from any era and can be specific to a model spec not just a make/model for instance It can be Escort Mk4 or it can be Ford Escort Mk4 1.3 popular. The only exception is it cannot be ANY CAPRI.

I will start it off. AUSTIN MAESTRO.

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Re: BRITAIN'S MOST BORING CAR

Post by Jasonmarie » Tue Jul 14, 2020 8:30 pm

Worse car I ever drove was my mums mini metro in blue , Jesus it was bad .
Ford Capri 2.0 Laser 1987 Mercury Grey ....... :beer:

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Re: BRITAIN'S MOST BORING CAR

Post by Chris82 » Tue Jul 14, 2020 9:04 pm

Can we make a a list? I will start with some hideous cars - Fiat Multipla and Nissan Juke. Never driven and never would I want to! Although not exactly British.

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Re: BRITAIN'S MOST BORING CAR

Post by Caprifan Rob » Tue Jul 14, 2020 9:11 pm

ESSEXV6ESSEX wrote:
Tue Jul 14, 2020 6:41 pm
I will start it off. AUSTIN MAESTRO.
Damn it, beat me to it :lol: . As it's been taken, I will go for its spiritual predecessor, the Austin Maxi.

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Re: BRITAIN'S MOST BORING CAR

Post by mjcapri » Tue Jul 14, 2020 9:33 pm

Whenever I see a Vauxhall Meriva I always think it’s the definition of joyless transport.... Then again most Vauxhall’s are like that, I have occasionally had to suffer Astras and Insignias as hire cars and they are frankly shocking cars to drive by today’s standards. I also think Dacias look rather depressing, especially the Logan. They remind me of a Bulgarian taxi.

Other relatively modern nominations would be the Rover CityRover (effectively a Metro without the retro appeal) and (I’m literally giggling away thinking about it!) the G-Whizz thing. In fact I’m not even sure if it qualifies as a car....

Historically I think the Austin Ambassador takes some beating, it didn’t even come with the straight six that was offered in the Princess (not that it was an exciting engine by any means). But then it faces stiff competition from it’s BL cousins the Allegro, Marina, Maxi and Ital.... What a line up, no wonder the British automotive industry went down the toilet....

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Re: BRITAIN'S MOST BORING CAR

Post by STEVEW » Wed Jul 15, 2020 6:12 am

The Ford Anglia 100E.

No wonder that certain car engines in those days weren’t called “power units”.
If the Mustang of those days was the muscle car this was the wimp of the Ford sales brochures.
And, this wimp unit was coupled to a three-speed gearbox with a gear lever coming out of the floor close to the clutch pedal. (It was longer than a Capri bonnet prop.) Having to wave this thing around while chugging up hills within a self-made blue cloud wasn’t much fun. Well what do you expect from 1172cc with side-valves?

Having said that the windscreen wiper system was a barrel of laughs in the form of the vacuum tank in the engine bay.
In today’s world of marketing speak it would be described as a safety feature: in heavy rain you were forced to drive slowly.
In pouring rain the wipers seemed to be moving quicker than the wheezing pistons - when standing at a red traffic light. (How the blade retainers could stand the g-forces defied science.).
However, the faster you drove there was less vacuum so the slower the wipers worked until they almost stopped.
Those were the days.

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Re: BRITAIN'S MOST BORING CAR

Post by Major_Tom » Wed Jul 15, 2020 8:48 am

Ford Fusion 2. It was like driving a open plan office block around. The accelerator never felt like it actually went to the floor, just into a sort of mushy, plastic void.

This particular one had a good fault though, the radio would randomly come on and get progressively louder and there was nothing that could be done apart from change the preset to whatever was least offensive.
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Re: BRITAIN'S MOST BORING CAR

Post by Paul G » Wed Jul 15, 2020 10:38 am

Renault Scenic. It was just about the first of the popular MPV's and hence was the starter for the current trend of huge vans on the road just to do the shopping and take the kids to school. Hateful things.

Other serious contenders from the bowels of history could be the Hyundai Stellars, Nissan Sunnys and of course some of the olden eastern block cars such as the FSO polski Fiat and the Lada Riva. Much worse than any BL offering.

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Re: BRITAIN'S MOST BORING CAR

Post by D366Y » Wed Jul 15, 2020 11:59 am

My mum had a Nissan Sunny when I was a kid - was such a hateful car.
Luckily I can't say I've had too much experience with horrible cars but I did have to drive a 2007 Fiat panda for a few years with work and that was awful in every way possible
A wise man once said... "you can never have too many capris - buy another" :beer:

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Re: BRITAIN'S MOST BORING CAR

Post by Taff50ish » Wed Jul 15, 2020 6:03 pm

Hi all,

Of all the cars I've driven I can say No 1, the Austin Metro, I did my test in one of these contraptions (BSM) and my foot covered all 3 peddles just about, but they were also totally characterless. My next one, I don't know if I'm being unfair, as this car did get 5 of us round the Tetley Pub Hunt & then the Tetley Pub Inquiry over the tops to end up at the Fleece on Ripponden Bank, then on for a Curry, but it was very poor, the Fiat 126… I still have both the T shirts, so perhaps this is unfair??? You can decide… :lol: :lol: :lol: Cheers,

John...

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Re: BRITAIN'S MOST BORING CAR

Post by Major_Tom » Wed Jul 15, 2020 9:15 pm

Taff50ish wrote:
Wed Jul 15, 2020 6:03 pm
this car did get 5 of us round the Tetley Pub Hunt & then the Tetley Pub Inquiry over the tops to end up at the Fleece on Ripponden Bank, then on for a Curry.. very poor.. the Fiat 126..

John...
Tell us more, this sounds like a good tale.
I'm the one that leaves all those shoes in the carriageway.

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Re: BRITAIN'S MOST BORING CAR

Post by Noel » Thu Jul 16, 2020 12:43 pm

Went away last October half term. Range rover was half way through heater blower replacement (worse job even than on the Capri), so I had to hire a car for the week that was big enough.
Got a Toyota Corolla estate from local Toyota dealer. It was competent, quiet and hybrid, so it did 60mpg all week.
But it was dull, dull dull, in that you simply steered it and pressed the pedals to make it go or stop, unless you like fiddling with dashboard toys, DAB radio, carplay, satnav maps, adaptive radar cruise etc.

It got me thinking as it was a perfectly sensible average family car with lots of space and good economy and body shape, but of course no one buys sensible estates anymore, they want tall SUVs.

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Re: BRITAIN'S MOST BORING CAR

Post by Mr B » Fri Jul 17, 2020 2:43 pm

What about the Fiat Panda?

A totally boring, ugly, soulless heap of a car which also rotted away quicker than a rabbit gets f*****

Wayne

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